I spent 2018 looking at men like trash. My trust in them is non-existent, and yet somehow, I plan on spending my life with one. If we’re being honest, men in general have had a shitty 2018. And it’s their fault.…
I spent 2018 looking at men like trash. My trust in them is non-existent, and yet somehow, I plan on spending my life with one. If we’re being honest, men in general have had a shitty 2018. And it’s their fault.…
Say Hello to my 100th post. This time around I thought I would share something special. As you already know, we don’t all have the picture perfect life we paint for the world. Sometimes life can really kick you in the butt. Other times you will wake up not feeling yourself. If at all you need any sympathy, find some in knowing that there are a lot of people going through the same thing. I have had my share of disappointments in life and I try my best to learn from them. Here’s a few tricks I’ve picked up along the way…maybe some might click with you.
When you realize being lonely would be happier than being with him.
Love is compromise…meet each other in the middle.
Dress to kill….something about those compliments that makes you feel worthy.
Listen to songs from your childhood days that you used to dance to (my playlist has Oliver Ngoma).
Pray….the power of a higher power.
Don’t get drunk.
Ask them what makes them happy, then do it.
Make some goals, no matter how small, then achieve them.
Give it your all.
10. How do you get over a heartbreak?
Take it one day at a time…you will wake up one morning and it won’t hurt as much.
He took a deep breath, keeping his gaze on her.
She looked back at him…a blushing smile.
Her eyes moved to his lips.
He narrowed his to make of what was amusing,
When she stole a light kiss from his nose,
And a giggle at his surprise.
He smiled back at her playfulness and leaned in slowly,
A hearty kiss across her lips,
He could feel her nervousness as he kissed her chin,
Making his way down her neck,
And close to her shoulders, sweetly up to her cheeks, and into her ears,
…You’ve seen me at my worst…and you love me…
…You’ve never seen me at my best, and you love me…
…I Adore You…He said…This is Forever Right?…
She moved her hands gently through his hair.
He admired her beauty…and looked deep into her eyes…I’m sorry Honey…
…I’m sorry for what I put you through…I’m so sorry…
…I love you…I adore you…I’m sorry for what I did…I’m sorry for the future…
She kept her smile…her gaze,
Wrapped her hands around his neck and brought him in for a kiss.
…You are my Always and Forever…she said.
She wiped his tear…and another kiss…and joined her forehead with his.
…Love had rules until I Fell in Love with you…
…and I’m not sorry for breaking them…Another kiss,
…loving you…worth every crack…every crease…the way you love me,
You make me jealous of me…
She smiled at him…another kiss…wiped another tear…another kiss.
…Aren’t you the luckiest girl in the world…he simpered.
…Marry me…Would you marry me…
And Her beaming through the laughter,
…I’d love to…if you promise to always make me feel like the luckiest girl in the world…
There’s this fast food place I love so much cos they make fried cassava, a very rare thing to find in America. They even call it “Yuka Fries”. I go there every once in a craving but my goodness, it’s tough getting a meal out there. This is why and I really mean no offence, but it’s a Hispanic fast food place, so most of its customers speak Spanish. That means that to get hired I would suppose you have to be bilingual. Here’s the problem, whoever is hiring at this joint employs and may I say women specifically, who speak more Spanish than English. This is how making an order goes for me (It was a drive through).
Lady: (in a thick barely understandable Hispanic accent) welcome to Pollo Campero what would you like to order?
Me: I have a question, how many sides come with the two piece meal?
Lady: you want a 2 piece meal with diner roll or tortilla.
Me: No, (repeats question slowly) how many sides come on a 2 piece meal?
Lady: You want what?
Me: (Oh My God) ma’am listen to me, I am asking a question. (Repeats question even slower) I said, how many sides come on a 2 piece meal?
Lady: Oh 2 sides.
Me: Ok I will get that.
Lady: You want what?
Me: 2 piece meal with French fries and yuka fries.
Lady: You want French fries?
Me: 2 pieces of chicken, French fries and yuka fries…2 piece meal.
Lady: Oh ok 2 piece meal, what sides ma’am?
Me: French fries and yuka fries.
Me: No, Yuka fries “and” French fries.
Lady: Yuka fries?
Me: (Buba calm down, it’s not worth it) ma’am I want both Yuka fries and French fries.
Lady: 2 piece meal with yuka fries and French fries.
Lady: Family size?
Me: No no no. single…just one person…only me…Uno…one…damn!
Lady: Come to the window please.
This is why, I can’t own a gun, cos I would have killed myself by now. Like why would you put a poor English speaker on a drive through? It’s already hard enough that drive through communication is hard, now we have a language problem too?
Here’s another one of my famous lists. Annoying people in traffic.
Drivers who are at the front of the line at the traffic light that’s turning left and aren’t paying attention for the green light, then when the green light goes on they don’t realize for like 5 seconds and finally when we honk at them, the light is already turning orange and only two cars get to go. Like that light is so short and it takes so long to come back on, I just want to scream. The worst part is they get to go and if anyone deserves, to stay at this light, it’s them.
Drivers who just jump in your lane without indicating. Like have some God damn respect. I’m a careful driver ok? Also my insurance is liability so I can’t afford craziness, like literally, I can’t. So when you see me leave a good amount of space between cars, it’s not for your selfish ass to just get in how you like, it’s for me not to crash. So kindly have the respect to let me know you’re coming into my lane that’s all I ask…although there’s a very small chance I will let you in.
People who find you listening to a very cool song on your earphones on full blast while walking and interrupt you with nonsense conversations. See my classes and the garage are very far apart so listening to music makes the long walk shorter. Its 90 degrees outside, I’m hot, I’m late to class, so I’m trying to walk fast, but not too fast that I’ll get to class looking all sweaty. I’m not exactly in my comfort zone right now but I’m trying to keep calm by listening to a cool song. So I’m out here zoning myself, Iggy’s Fancy is starting and I’m about to kill it like…First thing’s first I’m the…tap tap tap on my shoulder. So I pause, totally unzoned…”hey what’s up”, she says. “I’m good how are you”, I reply putting my earphones back on…Drop this and let the whole wor…tap tap tap…”what was your answer on No.4 on the home work?” she asks. Wtf!!!…Girl…first off, now is not the time or the place. Secondly I take it that being in the same course for two years, you now know that I’m not the kid in class who knows what No.4 was on the homework, better yet that we even had homework so buzz off! If you want a bad bitch like dis, drop it low and pick it up just like dis…
Old people driving. I think it’s safe to say that when you turn 60, you need a driver cos life gets a little too fast for you. Like these guys drive sooooo damnnnn slowwwww…move it grandma!
Old women with a walker who see when the light is green for you and that’s when they remember to cross the road…like who the fuck is you!!!
People who drive in the fast lane on 20 miles per hour…I hope you die!!!
People who text while driving, I don’t hope you die, YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!
You know how you can be driving behind someone who is going real slowly, but you respect them enough not to honk, and decide to overtake them and get back into the lane when you’re a good distance ahead of them. But they see you overtaking, and it’s like they get jealous that you’re going faster, then decide to speed up? Like what the fuck! You were driving like grandma back there, suddenly you’re in a corvette.
Speaking of corvettes, people who drive sports cars at 20 miles per hour…you ungrateful bastards.
Guys who honk at you and signal you to walk to their car so that they can hit on you…in your damn dreams. Dude you’re in the passenger seat…it ain’t even your damn car though.
Guys who try to hit on you at a traffic light, just cos they are in an expensive car. Bro you think I didn’t see the “commercial” written on your number plate? Car rentin az dude.
Laugh at my pain…these people exist…
When you get hurt, you lose all hope.
And if it’s not the first time you’ve been in that place,
You think about starting to heal yourself.
Better get to it right?
Or maybe you should just drown in sadness.
Maybe mad at yourself for getting caught up in the moment,
And not seeing this coming.
How you wish you could turn back the hands of time.
You try hard to seek happiness,
But nothing seems to work right now.
Damn you’re mad you let yourself into this.
They say time heals broken hearts,
Well time is a bitch cos it sure ain’t coming to you.
But when it gets tough, it’s better to think about the things that you are grateful for,
And the things you want to be grateful for.
So make it happen.
Life is a classroom,
And this is just another lesson.
He lay on his bed his face looking to the roof. His face turned to her, thoughtful but attentive looking for every twitch on her face. She looked at the wall. She just looked, breathing, in…out…in…just looking. She knew he was looking at her. She wanted him to look at her just the way she was…read her…bare, she wasn’t going to hide a thing. She wanted him to see the truth…truth, that’s what he needed to see. This was no time to hide. And he did just that…he looked.
…I wondered if I should look at him, but no, I gave him a little more time. I knew when I looked at him he would speak, so I gave him some time. Finally, I gave in, I wanted to see his eyes, to look into them, to know what he wanted to tell me…So I looked at him. He barely whispered, saying, “baby, tell me the truth.” I continued to look at him, he paused for a while still looking right in my eyes…then said, “Do you love me.” I didn’t move, not one expression did my face give away. Finding the words to say…I didn’t know what to say, I needed to say the truth. So I dug deep into my heart, to find the truth. And I looked at him and, I said…”I don’t know.”
His breaths grew slower, more silent…He asked “why” and I said, “I stopped loving.” I could see his expression turn from questioning to curious, turning his body to face mine and moving a little closer… I was an open book. I wanted him to see right through me, so I turned to face him too…he asked why again. I told him, “That way, the peace in my heart is guaranteed…so I stopped loving.”
He looked at me for a minute, trying to make sense of what I had told him. “So what do you feel for me?” Slowly looking back at the wall, there was a part of me that was afraid to speak the truth.
I stopped feeling, but that would not make any sense, cos if I had stopped feeling, then why am I here…my thoughts raced. I had no answer for him, but he wasn’t settling for nothing, and he deserved to hear it all. So I told him, “I know I’m here. I don’t know what to feel, I don’t know what to love…I just know…I’m here.” “I don’t know if it’s the right move, the right thing to do, I just know, I’m here.” “I don’t feel forced, feel trapped…I’ve stopped listening to the past and thinking about the future. I’ve learned to live in the present…Now…now is what matters.”
There’s a certain wave of energy that went through my body after I spoke…empowered…I was standing on a mountain. “Mountain of Truth”…nothing to hide…All me…all truth.
A few years ago in college I found one of my friends having a conversation with a few others about African girls only dating American boys when they come to the United States. Not wanting to get involved, I sat quietly and started to mind my own business, when this guy taps me in the back and asks “Hey you’re African too right? Do you have a boyfriend?” Now every girl alive knows that when a guy asks if you have a boyfriend;
1. Pretend to have not heard and ask him to repeat the question.
2. You have now bought yourself a good 3 seconds to determine your answer, which is completely based on nothing else but his appearance.
3. In those three seconds you scale his face, clothes, shoes, abs, and financial bracket.
“No I don’t have a boyfriend,” I replied. “So would you marry an American man? I told him I was open to love and healthy happy relationships. My friend who was #TeamAmericanBoys cuts in saying I’m boring and I don’t know what I want and that she’ll get me an American who will satis…ok the rest of that story doesn’t matter. Point is, In between their back and forth he asks me what my major was. I say pharmacy. Now turning to me and completely giving me his full attention he replies, “When you graduate, ima marry you.” It was a joke right?
Fast forward to a conversation with a male friend a few months ago who mentioned to me that he only dates women with a masters degree! ….Last time I checked, men don’t want educated women because, allegedly they are controlling, bossy and all those other selfish lame excuses weak minded men give, so yes, I was very interested in this conversation. Turns out he is already planning for his wife’s income. He says if they are both highly educated, they can be able to afford down payment on a big house, he would get help with the bills and life would be better since all the money would be “shared.” In his words, “life lately is not simple, you need a woman who will help out. Uneducated women are too expensive because they only rely on you. All these pretty chics you see around at the club, they’re airheads. I have to marry a woman who will also bring support”…damn, ok!
A few days ago while having lunch with some friends, a conversation sparks off about choosing partners for marriage. The conversation is going on quite casually, people arguing about why men still go to strip clubs after they are married, how a woman is not allowed to go to a club after she is married (by the way, that was an African guy’s opinion…are you surprised, I’m not) when one of the guys says, “Men don’t marry the girl they want. They marry the girl they need. Men settle for someone who will take care of their needs because the woman they are really attracted to can’t be a wife or mother.” Stay with me, I’m about to make my point.
Another guy adds. “All those girls men go for in the clubs, they know they can’t marry them. At the end of the day you settle for someone who is going to take care of you and raise a family.” …Implying that You settle?
One of the females starts to speak in support of what had just been said, adding that couples don’t have to love each other. The love grows with time and that it’s better that way, because if you don’t love him marriage lasts longer and whatever nonsense he does won’t hurt you because you don’t really care.
In this age where a ten year anniversary is a miraculous milestone and divorce gets served quicker than Fast Food, I’m starting to question the world’s perception of marriage when it comes to choosing life partners.
At one point I felt that finding true love was obvious conversation, but I find myself defending love more and more. I find myself reminding ladies that Not all men are dogs, and men that Offering luxurious living won’t attract every woman.
Yes I understand, times are hard, people need to share bills to survive but still, Do people marry for Love or are “we” now just Settling for comfortable lives or who can offer them? Can a marriage can last a lifetime without a man going astray with another woman?
Women are suckers for relationship advice; they will listen to any nonsense and read any book that tells them how to “Win in love”. Now if you’ve been on this site for more than a minute you know I’m a sucker for relationships too…”(Dude I have a whole category dedicated to the topic)”; here’s the thing about fellow suckers that I don’t understand; why would you want to know about men and then go ask women? It’s like getting offers to do interviews at the super bowl and the first person you chose to question is the coach…when the players are standing right in front of you. I respect female feminists (wait, just some of them not all) for their courage, brilliance, motivation, and guts really. When we start talking love however, I want to listen to a Male feminist/opinion. Why do Feminist women feel the need to give relationship advice! Married or single, most of them are terrible at relationship advice because half the time their opinions are from their biased point of view. I don’t trust them…Feminists talk fantasies they can’t even do themselves…
”You don’t need a man,”
-Every Married Female Feminist ever.
Buuulll Shittttt. I don’t trust them at all! The married feminist…Oh My God married feminists stress me ouuuuttttt! Before I go any further guys, let me tell you one thing about women and ladies, let me remind you one thing about yourselves. Women have perfected the “Art of Pretending and Lying without getting caught!” A married woman will trash-talk men for a complete hour all the while checking her watch to make sure she’s home in time to make diner for her hubby; and the single feminists, I don’t understand how you talk about beef when you’re vegan, how does that work? And then the lesbian woman who gives straight women “Hubby Talk”…like why? You can’t make this stuff up…No Really, she exists. I stumbled upon her article; Ms. Andrea Ritchie, thinks Steve Harvey’s “Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man” is trash talk.
She what she says,
“Black women are tired of being told that something is wrong with us.”
See, this is the bias I was telling ya’ll about. And for those of you who’ve heard of the “Look at the glass as half full or half empty” system will understand me when I say that if a comment is ever thrown at you, FIRST consider it as advice, not an ATTACK…advice, then whether you place it in good or bad advice, that choice is yours. Taking any type of criticism as an attack only sets you off as bitter and insecure…moving on.
“We are not all sitting around waiting for Steve Harvey and D. L. Hughley to tell us how to get and keep a man.”
We??? But aren’t you…
“Believe it or not, some of us are happily single. Believe it or not, some of us are lesbians.”
How to get and keep a man, happily single, Lesbian…make up your mind woman!
“Believe it or not, some of us are in fulfilling relationships with black men.”
BUT YOU JUST SAID YOU’RE A HAPPILY SINGLE LESBIAN!!!
“And we are tired of being ignored.”
Andrea, you’re being ignored because You Talk Shit!
Apparently feminism is based on equality of opportunities for both women and men, socially, economically and politically. I agree, however I have also come to accept that I am a part-time feminist. I think Women need men! I’m not saying we can’t do without them, I’m just saying we need them just as much as they need us; Go Figure! As usual, let’s end on a lighter, hopefully funnier note. Ladies and gentlemen, five moments when I do not believe in the equality of the sexes!
Read Andrea’s Full Article here:
Recently I was watching this interview of rapper Big Sean talking about his relationship with actress Naya Rivera. In his interview with Necole Bitchie, he boasts about getting home from the studio and Naya wakes up, to make him diner…at 4:00 am. I replayed that section like four times…4am?
You know what, I’ve always thought of myself as the good girlfriend type. I’m faithful, I don’t nag guys and I don’t take issues too personal (Ahem…assuming my ex is dead and that you can’t sue people for lying). But lately, My type of good girlfriend is getting out of style! Like Girls are making this too competitive…cooking at 4am…the hell? I mean, if I love you so so so much and you’re coming back at 4am…first of all why are you coming back at 4am?…the most effort I will make is to leave a sticky note telling you where the food is. Seriously, who has time to get up in the middle of the night in full gear and start frying things…not me! Naya girl, Sean better wife you for that effort.
A few weeks ago I see a bunch of my friends gathered around this one girl gasping and laughing. I join the conversation only to find them looking at her “Ring”. She got engaged over the summer. Yea my friend is getting married! Whatttt…quit playing! So while everyone is screaming and hugging…this is me;
Are you serious?
You’re really gonna do this?
Aren’t you so young?
Do you even know him well?
Is it because you’re pregnant?
Is that even a real diamond? (I know…I’m a pathetic loser for asking!)
I stopped when the dirty looks started to become obvious. Here’s the thing, I love hearing that people are getting married. But that’s because it’s always been older people in their late twenties, thirties and more. But check this out, this girl is twenty three…yea yea yea laugh all you want, but for real, I was freaked out for a second. And for no other reason except for the fact that I am the same age as her. No, I don’t think she is too young to get married 23 is perfectly fine. It’s me!
I’m too unserious to take on marriage. Here’s what’s crazy. How do people know “The One” so early? One year in and a date is set. I don’t trust this generations…too many actors and actresses…you need time to really know each other. Then you need time to think about where the relationship is going. I mean we all know those partners who profess their love and between the “awww, you’re my everything too” were thinking “no no no, it can’t be you, God Loves me…my husband is still out there”. And as if figuring out the one is not already scary, my lifestyle scares me too. Here are five reasons I am too selfish to be married now.
1. Breakfast? I get out of bed just in time to take a shower, dress up and drive through massive traffic (while applying foundation, mascara and lipstick) to reach work five minutes late which is the maximum amount of late arrival minutes that can be excused at the job without penalties. Hell no, I’m not getting out of my bed 30 minutes early to switch the coffee maker on for you. What’s wrong with your legs?
2. Alone time. Don’t we all need it? Sometimes I wake up and I do not want to hear another human breathing within a 20 feet radius of me. I’m not mad, I just want to be alone, thank you.
3. Have you seen my closet? I call it the clothes where I keep my room. My floor is a pile of denim, tees, books, shoe boxes, shopping bags and a lab coat somewhere in there. Nope, I haven’t rethought my behavior.
4. Kids. I love kids, but kids are on a constant mission to kill themselves. You have to watch them every second of every minute. They climb curtains, play with knives, run on the stair case, and eat blades. My niece and nephew are the most adorable bunch but fifteen minutes in and I’m done! Don’t touch my phone, don’t touch my iPad, don’t touch the TV, sit your lil butt down and watch cartoons like a normal kid…that I have never seen.
5. Sharing a bank account. I’m sorry, were you there while I slept for 2 hours…in a day, had water for breakfast, chewing gum for lunch and cereal for diner, had to work two jobs to pay off my bills and bribe the maintenance guy to steal my neighbor’s internet password, so I could survive off of their wireless? ‘Bro’ you haven’t been in my struggle and so you will not be included in my bank balance.
I have a special respect for married women, they have a certain calmness that we selfish youngster wannabes don’t have. And honestly, I respect them for accepting to let another human in their life to care for…for free. You deserve it all and more. Long live the couples.