I spent 2018 looking at men like trash. My trust in them is non-existent, and yet somehow, I plan on spending my life with one. If we’re being honest, men in general have had a shitty 2018. And it’s their fault.
In my tribe (Baganda), we have a proverb “enaku zo’mubbi ziba anna” which translates to Every thief has forty days. Men’s forty days run out towards the end of 2016 and everything has been downhill from there.
However, people are learning their lessons. The process might be slow but we are on our way, and more importantly, people are speaking up. When people remain silent, bad habits fester, so keep talking. If people treat you inappropriately, blow the whistle on them. You might not win the first time (Christine Blasey Ford), but you’re paving a way for future victories.
That being said, I really want to start liking men again in 2019. Every time, I meet people, my cup for them is full—full of love, full of faith and full of security. Their actions during the progression of our relationship are what empties that cup.
I prefer to see the good in people, expect the best and give them the benefit of the doubt. That wasn’t how I felt about men this year. My cup would start at zero. It’s really hard to prove yourself when someone doesn’t expect much from you to begin with, and I don’t want to feel that way about them anymore.
So in 2019, I’m going to expect the best in every man I meet, but believe me, one wrong word, one inappropriate touch, one unnecessary cat-calling and I’m clapping back.
Don’t come at me with “Ay girl come here let me talk to you for a second.” You wanna hit on me, you come here. A drink is not a gateway to my phone number. Sometimes, you put fuel in a car and it still doesn’t start…nothing is guaranteed. If I don’t like you at the end of the conversation, I’m going home, and you need to work on your personality.
I’m routing for men this year. I’m also holding them to a high standard and checking them if they fail. Who’s with me?