Drive!

She sat at the furthest end of the table. As far as She could.
Perhaps the distance would make the awkwardness bearable.
Its crazy, the bond they shared.
They lived for one another.
They completed each other.
Now they sit ten people apart.

Their friends talking, laughing.
She hardly hears them.
Loud voices in her head.
She forces a smile, pretends She’s involved.
Really She’s bursting into tears.

He won’t look down at her,
Deep down She’s glad.
If he did, he would see right through Her.
Still…where she left Her.

She holds back her tears.
No, not now, I can’t…not here.
Breathe…breathe…
She clenches Her teeth.
Come on, deep breaths…take deep breaths.
She tells herself louder…
One at a time.
Anything to hold back em tears.

She starts to eat.
The perfect distraction.
Forcing food down her gut.
She starts to wonder how He feels.
He refuses to notice her…
…No, He’s having a conversation.

He seems ok,
He lets out a little laugh.
She knows that laugh…
Damn, She knows that laugh.

Blood in Her nerves starts to race.
She chews harder.
Eyes looking straight at the table.
Body getting cold,
Fingers feeling numb.

Stop! Hurt, let me go please.
I should pray…
I should pray, but my mind’s in too much pain.

She walks out.
And doesn’t look back,
She walks faster,
As Her breaths get stronger.
Fumbling for her keys.
Her heart racing,
Her face breaking into cries.
She hides Her mouth,
She won’t let them hear her.
Locks herself in burying her head into her laps.

Release….don’t forget to breathe.
Quickly, you might get caught.
You never get caught.
Release….
Quickly now, wipe your tears,
Clear your throat,
Fix your face.

Where’s the mirror…smile.
Hold it…no,no please don’t start to cry again,
Smile. Smile, you did the best you could.
Dammit smile!
She forces her lips to crack.
Smile, it will get better.
(She calms herself).
Smile because…because somewhere in there,
You still love you.

Breathe in…
Look into your eyes…and find Her.
She’s there…find Her.
You see her…she’s fierce isn’t She?
Hold that thought.
Now Breathe out.
Drive!