There’s this fast food place I love so much cos they make fried cassava, a very rare thing to find in America. They even call it “Yuka Fries”. I go there every once in a craving but my goodness, it’s tough getting a meal out there. This is why and I really mean no offence, but it’s a Hispanic fast food place, so most of its customers speak Spanish. That means that to get hired I would suppose you have to be bilingual. Here’s the problem, whoever is hiring at this joint employs and may I say women specifically, who speak more Spanish than English. This is how making an order goes for me (It was a drive through).
Lady: (in a thick barely understandable Hispanic accent) welcome to Pollo Campero what would you like to order?
Me: I have a question, how many sides come with the two piece meal?
Lady: you want a 2 piece meal with diner roll or tortilla.
Me: No, (repeats question slowly) how many sides come on a 2 piece meal?
Lady: You want what?
Me: (Oh My God) ma’am listen to me, I am asking a question. (Repeats question even slower) I said, how many sides come on a 2 piece meal?
Lady: Oh 2 sides.
Me: Ok I will get that.
Lady: You want what?
Me: 2 piece meal with French fries and yuka fries.
Lady: You want French fries?
Me: 2 pieces of chicken, French fries and yuka fries…2 piece meal.
Lady: Oh ok 2 piece meal, what sides ma’am?
Me: French fries and yuka fries.
Me: No, Yuka fries “and” French fries.
Lady: Yuka fries?
Me: (Buba calm down, it’s not worth it) ma’am I want both Yuka fries and French fries.
Lady: 2 piece meal with yuka fries and French fries.
Lady: Family size?
Me: No no no. single…just one person…only me…Uno…one…damn!
Lady: Come to the window please.
This is why, I can’t own a gun, cos I would have killed myself by now. Like why would you put a poor English speaker on a drive through? It’s already hard enough that drive through communication is hard, now we have a language problem too?
Here’s another one of my famous lists. Annoying people in traffic.
Drivers who are at the front of the line at the traffic light that’s turning left and aren’t paying attention for the green light, then when the green light goes on they don’t realize for like 5 seconds and finally when we honk at them, the light is already turning orange and only two cars get to go. Like that light is so short and it takes so long to come back on, I just want to scream. The worst part is they get to go and if anyone deserves, to stay at this light, it’s them.
Drivers who just jump in your lane without indicating. Like have some God damn respect. I’m a careful driver ok? Also my insurance is liability so I can’t afford craziness, like literally, I can’t. So when you see me leave a good amount of space between cars, it’s not for your selfish ass to just get in how you like, it’s for me not to crash. So kindly have the respect to let me know you’re coming into my lane that’s all I ask…although there’s a very small chance I will let you in.
People who find you listening to a very cool song on your earphones on full blast while walking and interrupt you with nonsense conversations. See my classes and the garage are very far apart so listening to music makes the long walk shorter. Its 90 degrees outside, I’m hot, I’m late to class, so I’m trying to walk fast, but not too fast that I’ll get to class looking all sweaty. I’m not exactly in my comfort zone right now but I’m trying to keep calm by listening to a cool song. So I’m out here zoning myself, Iggy’s Fancy is starting and I’m about to kill it like…First thing’s first I’m the…tap tap tap on my shoulder. So I pause, totally unzoned…”hey what’s up”, she says. “I’m good how are you”, I reply putting my earphones back on…Drop this and let the whole wor…tap tap tap…”what was your answer on No.4 on the home work?” she asks. Wtf!!!…Girl…first off, now is not the time or the place. Secondly I take it that being in the same course for two years, you now know that I’m not the kid in class who knows what No.4 was on the homework, better yet that we even had homework so buzz off! If you want a bad bitch like dis, drop it low and pick it up just like dis…
Old people driving. I think it’s safe to say that when you turn 60, you need a driver cos life gets a little too fast for you. Like these guys drive sooooo damnnnn slowwwww…move it grandma!
Old women with a walker who see when the light is green for you and that’s when they remember to cross the road…like who the fuck is you!!!
People who drive in the fast lane on 20 miles per hour…I hope you die!!!
People who text while driving, I don’t hope you die, YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!
You know how you can be driving behind someone who is going real slowly, but you respect them enough not to honk, and decide to overtake them and get back into the lane when you’re a good distance ahead of them. But they see you overtaking, and it’s like they get jealous that you’re going faster, then decide to speed up? Like what the fuck! You were driving like grandma back there, suddenly you’re in a corvette.
Speaking of corvettes, people who drive sports cars at 20 miles per hour…you ungrateful bastards.
Guys who honk at you and signal you to walk to their car so that they can hit on you…in your damn dreams. Dude you’re in the passenger seat…it ain’t even your damn car though.
Guys who try to hit on you at a traffic light, just cos they are in an expensive car. Bro you think I didn’t see the “commercial” written on your number plate? Car rentin az dude.
Laugh at my pain…these people exist…