All I ask is that you keep a huge sense of humor while you read this cos the other route will either be inappropriate or annoying.
So a bunch of friends and I are hanging out when one of the tipsy girls makes an “announcement” that she has an interesting story for us. She starts…omg you guys, Ugandan girls do something to keep their men. Buba tell them! Wait what? I’m looking around like, “what just happened here? What are we even talking about, I just came for the food? Why does this girl even know my name?” I compose myself and in my most polite tone, ask her, “Tell them what”. Now speaking louder with everyone’s attention on me, she repeats, “Tell them how Ugandan girls keep their men. You guys pull!” Lawwdd! What did this girl just say? Pull? I didn’t even have the chance to ask what “Pulling” was and already she was pointing at me saying I’m pretending, I know what pulling is, all Baganda (my tribe) girls do it, and she knows I know about it.
Ok let’s back up a little here. This girl, let’s call her Jennifer, is actually Kenyan, but went to school in Uganda, where I’m from. Of course my accent gave away which is how she suddenly knew me all too well.
Everyone on the table, myself included were looking at this girl like crazy. First off, what the heck was “Pulling”? Secondly aren’t we too old for this stereotype business? Call me a child, but I was still lost. So I start trying to quickly put pieces together. She was talking about keeping men, so it probably had something to do with sex. Now I had it down to boobs and VJ. You can’t pull boobs…(no really, you can’t) and I couldn’t face the truth so I turned to my other friend Linda, another African who seemed to have figured it out…cos she kept shouting back “pull what” in a defending way. She explained it…I almost chocked. I have never in my life wanted to slap a bitch so hard in the face.
Turns out, the care taker (aka matron), from her boarding school told her that “all” Baganda girls “pull” and they are taught how to do it, and that’s how they keep their men…And her friend even does it (why am I even talking about this?) I was still feeling very attacked and was kinda drawn back. Linda however, clearly took this very personal and was now screaming “pull what” so I let her handle that and turned to the terrified looking Americans to set things straight.
I never got a chance to explain to “Jennifer” so here goes. Jennifer!!! First off, “What the Fuck is Pulling”. Secondly, how does a foreigner, come to a country, go to a random school with some crazy chics, believe/makeup some crazy stories from a matron and bring me and my countrymen to shame in a decent crowd…how dare you!
Until you opened your mouth, I had never heard of pulling. Whatever pulling is, I don’t even care…never will. You coming up to me and telling me that “all” Baganda girls “pull” is like me coming up to you and saying all Kenyan girls are whores and it’s true because one of my Kenyan friends is a whore. You can’t be coming to conclusions based on one person’s behaviors. And if at all “pulling” happens, your grown educated ass should know how unhealthy it is and think before running your mouth about how people do it to keep their men…pshhhh…”pulling” my ass!
See what I have to go through out here?
lol Happy Labor Day guys…xoxo, Buba.