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Women are suckers for relationship advice; they will listen to any nonsense and read any book that tells them how to “Win in love”. Now if you’ve been on this site for more than a minute you know I’m a sucker for relationships too…”(Dude I have a whole category dedicated to the topic)”; here’s the thing about fellow suckers that I don’t understand; why would you want to know about men and then go ask women? It’s like getting offers to do interviews at the super bowl and the first person you chose to question is the coach…when the players are standing right in front of you. I respect female feminists (wait, just some of them not all) for their courage, brilliance, motivation, and guts really. When we start talking love however, I want to listen to a Male feminist/opinion. Why do Feminist women feel the need to give relationship advice! Married or single, most of them are terrible at relationship advice because half the time their opinions are from their biased point of view. I don’t trust them…Feminists talk fantasies they can’t even do themselves…
”You don’t need a man,”
-Every Married Female Feminist ever.
Buuulll Shittttt. I don’t trust them at all! The married feminist…Oh My God married feminists stress me ouuuuttttt! Before I go any further guys, let me tell you one thing about women and ladies, let me remind you one thing about yourselves. Women have perfected the “Art of Pretending and Lying without getting caught!” A married woman will trash-talk men for a complete hour all the while checking her watch to make sure she’s home in time to make diner for her hubby; and the single feminists, I don’t understand how you talk about beef when you’re vegan, how does that work? And then the lesbian woman who gives straight women “Hubby Talk”…like why? You can’t make this stuff up…No Really, she exists. I stumbled upon her article; Ms. Andrea Ritchie, thinks Steve Harvey’s “Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man” is trash talk.
She what she says,
“Black women are tired of being told that something is wrong with us.”
See, this is the bias I was telling ya’ll about. And for those of you who’ve heard of the “Look at the glass as half full or half empty” system will understand me when I say that if a comment is ever thrown at you, FIRST consider it as advice, not an ATTACK…advice, then whether you place it in good or bad advice, that choice is yours. Taking any type of criticism as an attack only sets you off as bitter and insecure…moving on.
“We are not all sitting around waiting for Steve Harvey and D. L. Hughley to tell us how to get and keep a man.”
We??? But aren’t you…
“Believe it or not, some of us are happily single. Believe it or not, some of us are lesbians.”
How to get and keep a man, happily single, Lesbian…make up your mind woman!
“Believe it or not, some of us are in fulfilling relationships with black men.”
BUT YOU JUST SAID YOU’RE A HAPPILY SINGLE LESBIAN!!!
“And we are tired of being ignored.”
Andrea, you’re being ignored because You Talk Shit!
Apparently feminism is based on equality of opportunities for both women and men, socially, economically and politically. I agree, however I have also come to accept that I am a part-time feminist. I think Women need men! I’m not saying we can’t do without them, I’m just saying we need them just as much as they need us; Go Figure! As usual, let’s end on a lighter, hopefully funnier note. Ladies and gentlemen, five moments when I do not believe in the equality of the sexes!
- Plumbing. And every other type of dirty work which for some reason men take pride in doing to prove themselves as big and strong, should remain a men’s thing. Nah uh, I have no interest in knowing what is clogging up the toilet.
- Moving in together and then still having to pay half of everything. I’m sorry, so how is this relationship beneficial to me? Not only am I still not relieved of the electricity bill…but your laptop is always charging!!!
- Pushing dead cars. Changing tires or oil, filling air and every other problem that has to do with a car, paying insurance included. This one guy told me he was moving out of town and I was only sad because now I had to find a new “Car Guy”. Every woman has a car guy on speed dial. Your car starts acting funny, you park somewhere and call him to come see what’s up. He has the spare key so you text him its location address and abandon the sucker till it’s fixed again.
- Female favors. I grew up in Africa and when I moved to Texas, I admired how well women had it here. I mean, a guy will not sit down while a woman stands, he will give up his seat. Men out here are kinda gentlemen. They do humble stuff like hold out doors, or when a stranger sees you carrying heavy stuff, he might help you to wherever you’re going before he continues on his way. You go to Africa and see how you will carry em groceries the whole mile home while your partner shamelessly texts some crazy chic on his phone.
- If there’s a killer in the house they are the ones to go and check to confirm it’s true. No way am I holding that damn torch flashing around just to get axed in my throat.
Read Andrea’s Full Article here:
- If you’re waiting on your degree to do the success magic for you, you’re going to die poor. Perhaps the most important lesson I learned this past year. Start thinking now! If an idea comes at you, grab it and cease the opportunity while it lasts. When it’s your moment, it’s your moment!
- People lie about their lives, a lot! Apparently you’d rather look rich than actually be rich. So you max out your credit on an iPhone, Range Rover and Red Kicks but somehow your gas tank is always on E?
- Life gets happier when you start thanking before asking. Be thankful that you are alive and that you are breathing. Being grateful attracts happiness and positive energy around you.
- Loudest is never strongest…never. I don’t know why, but people who want to stand out excessively and are so desperate to show everyone how perfect they are, are always the ones with the most issues. I just don’t understand why one would show themselves off when their life is a mess. The more spot light you give yourself, the more you will attract people to talk about you. And no one has interest in basic information. The juiciest gossip is the one with the sleazy embarrassing details. And what annoys me the most about “loud ass people” is how they take to social media and express how mad they are that the world is talking about them negatively…it’s because you’re in our faces all the damn time. Go sit down somewhere and be quiet and see how we won’t leave you alone!
- You can never build happiness off another’s misery. Selfishly hurting people is never fair. I despise and feel pity for those who only work towards their own benefit without considering how others feel. Do not steal someone’s husband and then hope for a happy marriage…nope, never going to work out!
- I’d rather you don’t clap, than clap pretending to be happy for me. Fake people will be the death of me. You don’t have to like everyone, and that’s okay because everyone cannot please everyone! What’s not right is painting a smile over glaring hate just to keep up appearances.
- All that shiny sparkly showing off is to distract you from the sad reality. People that are too flashy with all there materialistic things, acting like they are the only people in the world who could afford them. You see how this showing off thing works, people show off things which they know other people don’t expect them to have so they have to confirm that they could finally afford them. There…I just explained that annoying insta-grammer who always posts pictures of receipts showing how they just spent $100 on food at a restaurant…Ohhh Well done!
- Be as independent as possible. I stopped having high expectations in people. Just when you are getting comfy, they’ll disappoint you in the worst way possible. It’s more satisfying owning the little that you need than sharing all the lot that you want.
- Wait to talk. Funny story, this one time I was boarding a flight which I was very late for, upon entry into the plane, it was me and another late gentleman who was ahead of me. The hostess looked at his boarding pass, looked into the economy section then looked at him and said, Business Class? He replied, “No, Economy.” So she told him to wait there then looked at me and said the same. Weirdly, in that moment I lost grip of my bag so I picked it up right before correcting her that I was also in Economy class. But by the time I looked up she was already channeling me into business class so I shut my mouth and followed. She sat me down on the plushest, most spacious plane chair I had ever sat in. I didn’t even get comfy cos I knew they would figure me out soon…not to mention my overly excited face was showing. A few minutes later, she walks in with a lady and sits her nearby (I can’t even say next to me because that’s how far apart those seats are). Later during the flight, we picked up conversation when she mentioned her flight being cancelled. Her and a few other passengers ended up being placed on my flight but the owner of the seat they had given her showed up at the last minute so they had no choice but to bump her up to Business class! So that’s what happened to my seat, it had been given out so they were compensating with business class. Whoever came up with that late comers eat bones nonsense…?
- I’d rather be engaged forever than married for a day. Lately, it’s like people get married to break up. The relationship is strong for four years, they get married and a year in, divorce papers are filed…like what happened? Marriage is no longer a sacred union, more like who will throw a bigger wedding.
- You are in full control of your life and that’s scary. Whatever you think about is what is happening to you. When I first got to figure this out I thought life was so much easier, and don’t get me wrong, it is…except for the fact that we have been raised within the walls of worry, fear and self-doubt and it feels almost impossible to erase them from one’s mind. Thinking negative never takes you anywhere but we can’t help but wonder if things will go wrong or if we will fail. It’s who we are, and you know what, its ok…as long as we can change that thought immediately and know everything will work out well in the end.
- Happy people have nothing to prove. When good things happen to you all the time, it’s a lifestyle! You don’t need to tell everyone, what matters is that you, the recipient of good comings is at peace, and that’s all the proof you need.
Career Women! Their biggest challenge…finding proper balance between achieving career success and relationship success. A couple of days back, I set out a mini debate asking if marriage had become overrated. We are reminded about the statistics of marriage every now and then. In any given setting in the United States, only 50% of marriages last. That means in every two marriages, only one survives.
That statistic is slowly spreading to other nations. Maybe it’s because people around the world are now more aware of their freedom. Freedom to walk away from what’s unpleasant. Or maybe it’s the fact that marriage no longer holds the sacred respect it once had. Should women concentrate on finding success no matter how long it takes, before settling down to start a family? Yes opinions varied, but not according to age group. Specific age groups tended to have similar opinions. One thing is for sure, the honor that marriage decided to settle for in the past few years, has slowly started showing effects. I’m talking about the “Silent Watcher”…the kids!
I did not find it surprising at all that younger generations seemed to be in favor of securing a career and an attractive bank balance before settling down. It’s only normal and fair. Lately you never know where a marriage could lead to. I once overheard a conversation between two ladies. One of them mentioned that you could be with a man for twenty years, and in the twenty first year, you will separate. “Silent Watcher” is always a victim. Seeing firsthand the situation shifting from comfortable to struggling. Parents screaming at each other, disrepectful words flying all over the place, getting kicked out the house, now mum has to find a job, child support drama, randomly finding mum crying and depressed. All that mess gets to them and they start to look at marriage like a waste of time…and money.
This based on what I have seen, I don’t want to commit to someone if I don’t have something that I can call my own, and putting your life on hold for someone who may turn his back on you is a risk I am not willing to take. I’m not saying that every relationship is doomed to fail, but go into one with something. The world we live in is complex, 20 years down the road and that person you gave up everything for might just leave you hanging. -Diedre
The “Silent Watcher” has been trained to find solutions to problems. And the solution to this problem is to become selfish. Don’t get me wrong, I find no fault in one wanting to be selfish and I wouldn’t blame them in this specific situation. Why should I invest in We now, when in the future I’m going to end up being just Me? I might as well focus on Me so when Me actually shows up, I’m prepared.
I think a woman should enter marriage only when she has achieved some level of self-worth she is comfortable with, physically, spiritually emotionally and yes! Career wise! You can’t love someone else without loving yourself first. -Michelle
Love and happiness! A lot of people who claim to have found true love and happiness, claim to find in in their partner and children. So yes, I think a big part of being happy is having someone by your side, having that friend, partner, bestie to share it with…usually the significant other.
If I was 32 with no type of career and a partner who is ready to commit, then I see myself with two options, commit to him, have some beautiful babies, and put my career on hold.
There’s one thing I have noticed about women who stay in abusive relationships. It’s because they are dependent. They could be emotionally dependent, or financially dependent. Either way, they have convinced themselves that their current situation is the best they can get. So they stick around because they don’t want to struggle.
As much as I was entertained by the younger generation, I was more intrigued by the experienced responses. Married people! I’m one of those weirdos who bombard newlyweds with questions about married life. It’s not in their replies that I find my answers, it’s in their new found character. They tend to be more patient, grounded and very tolerant. And those same traits reflected in replies they gave me.
Life is full of choices and how you prioritize them is purely up to one’s self. Some people may choose to build a career and then go in to marriage and vice versa. True, people change, but there must be an extent that you can tolerate. -Connie
Crop Pests! UNWANTED organisms that cause damage by feeding on other organisms that DON’T belong to them. Perhaps the biggest ongoing threat to serious relationships. Commonly referred to as “side liner” and “side dish”. Let’s look at the lifestyle of the pest. The pest doesn’t have the strength, hard work and technique to plant and water its own crop. The pest is an opportunist. So it finds a fully grown nutritious crop and attempts to taste it. True to the eye the crop is just as stable, strong and fully capable of supplying all the necessary nutrients that this pest expected. At times the pest might get spotted and sprayed to its death. But the inattentive farmer won’t notice until it’s too late. However the farmer has a choice. She could weed the plant out and plant a new seed, or she could let the pest have the plant. But you see the pest is lazy. The pest knows nothing about watering and caring for a plant. The pest only knows a finished product. So slowly, the plant starts to die. And what does the opportunist pest do? Go onto the next healthy looking plant.
Late comers have been found to grab other women’s men. Plus when it comes to children, the chances are much more reduced after 35. In a woman’s world, this is a desperate period where they tend to buy love, steal their friend’s husbands, or go for those muscular handsome men with no job , less responsibility but sexually capable. -John
Think about it. Why is marriage such a big milestone in our lives? Is it because we choose to settle down, or choose to start a family? I think it’s because we chose to love exclusively…infinitely. We chose that one person in the world, that we want to spend the rest of our lives with. That one person with whom we will share our joys, our sorrows and our achievements. In my opinion, I believe relationships should be treated like a business. You can’t put in half the effort and then expect a full harvest. You have to invest in your relationship. And we all know that any investment involves, having a game plan, following the game plan, making sacrifices, remaining determined, and most importantly, staying focused on achieving your goal.
I believe we need to strike a balance. Both issues are important in a woman’s life. This is the 21st century and things have changed. Women need to be independent and are expected to still be submissive to their husbands. Women can now make a choice and that should be ok. I guess it’s an individual decision. -Constance
I could not have said it any better!
Till next time -B!
Asking for favors is not a talent. It’s a skill really; you just have to have the few facts down. Some people are so annoying when asking for stuff, you want to say no before knowing what they want. Confused? Here’s a dialogue between me and one very ‘nerve wrecking’ human being. FIY there were three people in this conversation…Her (Z), I and my thoughts (MT)!
Me: Hey Hey
Z: Do you have a Bank Account?
MT: No, that’s why you were admiring my Hello Kitty credit card last week! Who the Heck doesn’t have a bank account?
Z: What Bank do you use?
MT: (First I check to make sure I’m talking to Z and not some Tele marketer) Why the heck is she interested in what bank I use? Oh Lawd what does she want now?
Me: Chase Bank why?
Z: You got some savings?
MT: Who the Hell are you?…A debt collector or the Revenue Services?…asking about my savings account like you fund me…what makes you think I would tell you my personal business…showing up here like you owe me something…ewww get out my phone…why are you even in my life?
By the way this whole conversation was via text…imagine…and the reason it ended is because I stopped replying…because my next reply was going to be like this…
Me: Listen, I’m not a child, I am twenty freaking three, and I am in pharmacy school, so I don’t have time to answer all your background-check questions over text, only for you to take from me in the end. Stop wasting my time and get to your damn point.
Some people have you contemplating your mood to see if you can pick up cos with them it’s always something and you have to sacrifice…Z is one of them. This one time she called me at 10:00pm asking to get a ride to the airport, at 4:00am. The airport is 45 minutes away and nope, she wasn’t offering to pay for fuel. Seriously this is what she said, “But it’s not so far away, I know you have gas in your car.” Yea I have gas in my car…for me, my journeys, where I want to go, when I wish to go…Honey I am not your mother, snap out of that fantasy you’re living in…where did these people grow up?
If you’re a victim of reject when it comes to asking for favors, here are a few tips that could come in handy.
- Don’t pretend. We can see right through you. If you haven’t called in a while don’t make cheesy conversation like “How do you like your new apartment?” (You know I have been living here for like five months now?) Don’t act like you care, that only triggers a fake attitude and everything you say after that is going to be scrutinized.
- Meet me half way. No more than two tasks per favor. You want me to help you mail your stuff? Ok. Make sure it’s packed and ready and I can be able to pick it up at my own time. All I have I have to do is pick it up and take it to the post office. Don’t make me have to pick up the box from Wal-Mart, then stand in the ‘never ending’ Wal-Mart line, then go to your friends house to pick the key to your house, then go to your house to pack the stuff in the box, then go the post office to pay for the mailing with my money, then go to my bank so I can I get my bank details, send them to you so that you can wire transfer the money I used, so you can pay me back. That’s too much. If you really need all this done, you better have a ‘Ride or Die’ bestie or ask favors from like three people, so each has a small task to do.
- Get to the Damn point. You’re better off surprising someone with the favor than giving them time to figure out a good lie which will lead to a polite no. People don’t like doing stuff for other people when they have their own lives going. Get them unaware and if they like you they will say yes without thinking twice. Start asking about the dog and they’ll start coughing to make their ‘I’m not feeling well’ lie valid.
- Be polite and precise. Instead of asking for information that is really nanya business, try something like, “Hey I’m having a bit of trouble paying my rent. Is it ok if you would please lend me $400? I should be able to pay it back in two months.” After you get your reply, then you can ask about the dog. Now you will sound like you care.
- Build some sort of trust. When it comes to lending money, the first question at heart from whoever is lending you is “Will you pay me back, and when”? When you mention the payback day in the request the lender is more inclined to help you because you come off as an honest person who can be trusted.
- Pay back on time. Please don’t be difficult. If you need them now, you might probably need them again. It’s so much easier to ask a favor from someone with whom you have already built a trust relationship. Don’t make them call you; they did you the favor remember? If you can’t meet your deadline have the courtesy to call and be honest about it. Even if you’re going to pay them one morning later, let them know. Some people have real trust issues (I do) with their stuff.
- Start small. Don’t ask a new friend to borrow their car to drive to another state for your job interview? Come on now!
- Don’t be a bitch. You need help, act like it. Some people ask for stuff like it’s theirs and get mad when someone says no. You don’t know what people are going through so don’t assume they are just being mean when they say no. Plus they could change their mind anyway but since you have excess attitude…whatever!
- Give it time. Give people time to fulfill the favor. Unless of course it’s an emergency, don’t call me in my sleep asking if you could borrow my shoes for your date tomorrow. I will tell you they got torn and I threw them away.
- Lastly and most importantly? Say “Thank you very much; I really appreciate your help”. Give the person the satisfaction of knowing that they were really useful to you. And on due date, remind them of how much help they were and thank them again. When it comes to being polite, there are only pluses, never negatives.
Friends that are financially stable are just so much easier to be around. If you don’t have any rich friends, get this. Life is more peaceful when you have some rich friends. Go get you some rich friends! Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not out here to hate on my ‘Buddies on a Budget’. Life is generally brighter when you hang around some ‘High Rollers’….