I call my blog “My Happy Place.” Watching something I started as a hobby grow into a brand that I’m proud of has truly been the most exciting bit for me this year. It’s always humbling when I meet new friends who tell me they love my content and keep up with my posts….
She felt her heart beat faster as she drove that cold Christmas morning. Taking her time, being very careful so no trouble would come to her. It had to be perfect, each and every bit of it. She caught herself smiling now and then at the thought of meeting him. Maybe she’d cry when she hugged him. How tight would she hug him? How long would she kiss him? What would he look like? Maybe he’d cry too. Holding onto her steering tighter, nervousness drove through her body and into her legs making her accelerate, when she immediately slowed down. No accidents today, she thought. It has to be perfect.
She backed up into the packing, pulled the hand breaks and turned off the car while taking a deep breath. Breathe…breathe she said to herself, taking a second shot, this time real slow. She took out her make-up, powdered her face down a little more and freshened up her lipstick. Plumping her lips, she critiqued her sexiness, and the look she should have on her face when he walked out and saw her. It all mattered to her.
Flashes of the past kept coming to her but she brushed them off without a thought. This was new. It was different. It was forever, she thought smiling to herself again. She sprayed some perfume and stepped out of the car, straightened her dress, picked up her purse and closed the door. Looking at her hair, one more time though the reflection in the glass windows, she took one more deep breath and walked to the arrivals.
The crowd was small this time. It was Christmas Day and the airport wasn’t busy. She looked up the information screen and skimmed through quickly to where Fast Jet Airlines was. Arrived 11.25am on time, it read. She looked at her watch, it was 11.30. A gentle man came out driving a cart. She quickly read the tag on his luggage, “Fast Jet,” it read. Okay any time now, she thought, her heart skipping a beat. The nervousness, the flashes, the excitement, it was all happening to her now. She could hear her heart drumming under her chest as she looked around at other crowds receiving their loved ones, hugging, crying, until it all stopped. When a middle aged man walked through the doors. He was of medium height, wore dark wash jeans and a polo shirt. He seemed to be looking up something on his phone…he must have been texting. She stared at him, it was him. She didn’t move and he kept to his phone then quickly looked up, holding it to his ears while looking through the crowds. She was startled by the ringtone of her phone and quickly opened her purse to put it off. It was at the bottom so she had to pull out a few things before she could get to it. Finally pulling it out and quickly pressing the green button to answer, when her hand was held gently. She looked up and there he was. Standing right in front of her, a smile on his face and looking right into her eyes. “Hi,” he said. She stared at him a few seconds more. She stopped breathing and opened her mouth as if to say something but nothing came out. Her eyes were teary. She let out a sigh and brought her hand to her mouth as she broke down into tears.
“Baby,” he said, “I’m here now, don’t cry, I’m here.” Pulling her in and wrapping his arms around her. He looked her in her eyes again, then kissed her forehead. “I’m here baby,” he said. Not being able to talk thorough the tears, she shook her head in acceptance, he hugged her again, this time for long until she could calm down. Slowly, she took her hands from her mouth and Wrapped them around his neck, her face still buried in his chest. He just kept holding on until she was ready. Eventually she lifted her face. Looking into her eyes, he wiped her tears when she softly said to him, “I missed you baby, I missed you.”…”I know honey, I missed you so much,” he replied leaning in and giving her a kiss on the lips.
She pulled herself together as he wiped the little tears left on her face. He held her hand and asked her where her car was. She pointed and he led her to it. She pulled the keys from her purse and gave them to him. He opened the door for her and as she pulled her seatbelt, he helped her click it, when he leaned in for second kiss. A deep kiss, it was this time, as she felt his tongue taste hers. His hand moved up to her neck, pulling her in a little more to him, kissing her deeper each time. She broke away giggling and blushing. He looked deep in her eyes when she broke into a simple smile. “I love you,” he said softly. She simply smiled. He gave her another quick kiss, shut the door gently, and walked around to the other side to let himself in. Starting the car and driving out the airport, he glanced at her one more time, held her hand with his, and drove away into the daytime.
I love how I love you…
It’s not painful, it’s not draining….
It’s peaceful and it’s nice and I expect love from you all the time…and you give it to me…you give it back.
And even if…even if it’s not like the movies, it works just fine, and I love it because it’s not disappointing.
You feel content. And maybe I may not get the thrill of intimacy…or drama…or intense passion,
It’s just perfect cos I’m happy…I smile all the time.
It’s a good kind of love and I can feel it…
It may not take me to the depths of the depths but it takes me to exactly where I wanna be…
It’s safe. I love how I love you…
…I love how you look at me…and I can tell that you can’t figure it out…and you can’t tell if I love you back… And I won’t tell you.
I won’t cos I want you to be in the mystery…the mystery of my affection…not knowing what to expect and wondering if you’re ever gonna be good enough.
But the way you love me, it’s like you’re never gonna let me go…and sometimes I’m afraid…that if I let myself out and I let you know how much I love you…
Then maybe you’ll leave…I love how I love you.
It’s without doubt…it’s without fear…it’s under control.
And even if the lust may take me to the depths of my emotions and make me want to go crazy, and believe me, that thrill is priceless…I love this…I love what we have.
I love this so much…cos I know where it’s going…and I only see white…I see happiness…I see hope.
And truth is some people may want that deep passion but I…I want predictable…I want happy,
Because you reach a point in love and realize maybe it’s not worth it…searching and wondering…and wondering if you’re gonna find…
And maybe we’ll grow to love each other more and more to the point where we find the depths of our lust…but for now I enjoy…you’re attention…you’re affection…you’re confusion…about who I am…about this mystery that lies before you.
And you attempt to figure it out…but you’re patient…you’re love is patient…our love is patient.
And it’s gonna wait…and I love that about us. And we’re gonna take it slow…we’re gonna take it a step at a time…take it…a step at a time.
…maybe this will be right…maybe you are the one…cos you don’t rush…and I love you for not rushing…cos I take my time…cos I know you…and that’s what I want for sure.
…and the innocence in your eyes tells me…that you’re being truthful…that you’re being honest…that your intentions are right…I love how I love you.
You can judge me,
No really, it doesn’t get any worse.
No insult could crush me any further.
No word more hurtful could break me any deeper.
No abuse can make me anymore insecure.
Judge me, I just might find it enlightening.
You wanna know the worst heart break?
It’s the one you live through.
The one whose arms you sleep in,
And wake up to every morning.
It’s the one whose pain you chose to embrace,
In fear of leaving and losing your mind.
You wanna know the worst heartbreak?
Ask the wife who sees her husband run to the arms of a woman,
While she makes his diner.
You wanna know the worst heartbreak?
As the girl whose man begged for her love.
And now she eats off of his rejection.
Have you ever wished to go back to an old love?
The one you took for granted, the one who called you,
And you never picked up,
You knew he’d call you again.
The one who wished you a blessed morning and sweet dreams,
Every morning and every dream?
You wish you could go back to that time,
And thank him for loving you.
But maybe this is what you get,
For not being happy enough, grateful enough,
For wanting more.
So please, Judge me….
Judge me as much as you can.
Judge me for being ungrateful,
Judge me for being unloving.
Crush me, insult me, make me feel insecure…
Make me feel something…anything,
Except this heartbreak I’m living.
Emotions write great poems on cold nights.
Stir crazy thoughts and founded energies.
Emotions make love, and start warzones.
Emotions make you question your sanity and humility.
Emotions Concieve a love then question it’s existence.
Emotions see inner beauty and ignore imperfections.
Emotions may complete you then tear you apart.
Emotions will feed you, then drain you.
Emotions are priceless but high maintenance.
Maybe I’d give up all my emotions,
To remain a free spirit,
Lonely but with stability.
So as I’m in love I will always have a poem.
Emotions write great poems, but your heart pays the price.
He took a deep breath, keeping his gaze on her.
She looked back at him…a blushing smile.
Her eyes moved to his lips.
He narrowed his to make of what was amusing,
When she stole a light kiss from his nose,
And a giggle at his surprise.
He smiled back at her playfulness and leaned in slowly,
A hearty kiss across her lips,
He could feel her nervousness as he kissed her chin,
Making his way down her neck,
And close to her shoulders, sweetly up to her cheeks, and into her ears,
…You’ve seen me at my worst…and you love me…
…You’ve never seen me at my best, and you love me…
…I Adore You…He said…This is Forever Right?…
She moved her hands gently through his hair.
He admired her beauty…and looked deep into her eyes…I’m sorry Honey…
…I’m sorry for what I put you through…I’m so sorry…
…I love you…I adore you…I’m sorry for what I did…I’m sorry for the future…
She kept her smile…her gaze,
Wrapped her hands around his neck and brought him in for a kiss.
…You are my Always and Forever…she said.
She wiped his tear…and another kiss…and joined her forehead with his.
…Love had rules until I Fell in Love with you…
…and I’m not sorry for breaking them…Another kiss,
…loving you…worth every crack…every crease…the way you love me,
You make me jealous of me…
She smiled at him…another kiss…wiped another tear…another kiss.
…Aren’t you the luckiest girl in the world…he simpered.
…Marry me…Would you marry me…
And Her beaming through the laughter,
…I’d love to…if you promise to always make me feel like the luckiest girl in the world…
When you get hurt, you lose all hope.
And if it’s not the first time you’ve been in that place,
You think about starting to heal yourself.
Better get to it right?
Or maybe you should just drown in sadness.
Maybe mad at yourself for getting caught up in the moment,
And not seeing this coming.
How you wish you could turn back the hands of time.
You try hard to seek happiness,
But nothing seems to work right now.
Damn you’re mad you let yourself into this.
They say time heals broken hearts,
Well time is a bitch cos it sure ain’t coming to you.
But when it gets tough, it’s better to think about the things that you are grateful for,
And the things you want to be grateful for.
So make it happen.
Life is a classroom,
And this is just another lesson.
Tonight by your side is where I lie.
Where I am free from the sadness this world brings.
Where pink grape tastes like honey and milk flows deep in my veins.
Your Golden magic covers my body,
I rest knowing that you’re right next to me.
I live for you and I am too intrigued to deny it.
My home is where your head lies
And my comfort is where your soul is free.
Icon…Upon my existence.
And even though I were bound by a rock
And the sun blocked from my eyes,
I’d Rise and to your surprise I’d be better.
No price would wither my pride,
Nor the pressure, Nor the measure of any racks would stack against my luck.
For I’d make a comeback so fierce,
And if you dared to seduce the the dark to hack my soul,
I’d pretend to fall.
Watch you haul my veins to a pain unbearable,
Let you believe your brilliance with defiance
And my silence for evidence.
And as you turn to leave I’d cleave
what’s left of your innocence, Once.
Build an empire of ambition
An air of motivation, ripped from the pits
of a fire so deep within,
For my calling i-burn…Icon.
Never have I felt more in control of my destiny.
And being un-sorry for who I am,
Or what I’m set myself up for.
To feed off of my blessing
And rise from the roots of my confidence.
Taking pride in my poise,
Placing my standards.
An Art of writing and reading and teaching.
Lessons from listening and loving and losing.
And losing…And losing…
…And losing….I miss you O.
And choosing to win and win…and win.
I’m Charging, Unstoppable…Undefeated.
Exclusive Exceptional Irreplaceable!
I’m the Alpha, I’m a Stallion…A Horse.
I’m an Heiress to Success!